9 Things I Do on Purpose To Annoy My Husband

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Annoyed husband

Amorcitos, I’m about to tell you the truth about my misbehaving wife ways. Let me make it clear that I have an incredible husband and I’m not just saying that. You would say it too if you knew him.

He is sexy, sane and patient-ish for the most part. I on the other mano, am a tad on the evil side and do things that annoy him even though I know they annoy him.

Like what, you say? Here are a few of my annoying habits:

  1. When he asks me where the scissors or some such thing that has a specific place where it lives in our home, I always answer, “Where they’re supposed to be.” Then he huffs and keeps randomly opening drawers because heaven forbid he remember where things go.
  2. I complain that I need help with the housework and then when he pitches in spontaneously I tell him how he’s doing it all wrong.
  3. He’ll ask if we have milk or peanut butter or toilet paper and I totally know, but instead I act like I don’t and say, “How am I supposed to know? Why don’t you go and look?”
  4. When he’s driving I push my imaginary break constantly and occasionally cross myself even though I’m not religious.
  5. I wear UGLY shoes on purpose. Yup, I do and I LOVE them, but my husband hates them. Now when I say ugly, I mean they are ugly to him, but extraordinarily wonderful to me. They are the kind of shoes that only women like, but are total man-repellers.
  6. I don’t know why, but the second he gets on the phone I find that I have something incredibly important to tell him and it can’t wait, or I interject into his conversation with whomever he’s talking to. I know it’s annoying, but it’s like this force that is greater than me makes me do it.
  7. Why is it that his last bite of food looks so appetizing to me? I didn’t want any ice cream, but when he gets to that last spoonful all of a sudden I have to have some.
  8. When he’s all warm and snuggled up in bed and I’m cold, I press myself right up against him to soak up all his warmth and slide my hands inside his shirt while he screeches that my hands are freezing. I know they are freezing. That’s why I’m using him to warm them!
  9. He kisses me goodnight every night because I HAVE to have a good night kiss, but I pretend that he hasn’t so that he’ll do it again. He thinks I have no kiss memory, but really, I’m a kiss thief and proud of it.

Am I the only wife that does these annoying things? Or am I the only one admitting to them? Do you do anything on purpose to annoy your spouse?

 Image via lucorreia/Flickr

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