9 Things I Do on Purpose To Annoy My Husband
Amorcitos, I’m about to tell you the truth about my misbehaving wife ways. Let me make it clear that I have an incredible husband and I’m not just saying that. You would say it too if you knew him.
He is sexy, sane and patient-ish for the most part. I on the other mano, am a tad on the evil side and do things that annoy him even though I know they annoy him.
Like what, you say? Here are a few of my annoying habits:
- When he asks me where the scissors or some such thing that has a specific place where it lives in our home, I always answer, “Where they’re supposed to be.” Then he huffs and keeps randomly opening drawers because heaven forbid he remember where things go.
- I complain that I need help with the housework and then when he pitches in spontaneously I tell him how he’s doing it all wrong.
- He’ll ask if we have milk or peanut butter or toilet paper and I totally know, but instead I act like I don’t and say, “How am I supposed to know? Why don’t you go and look?”
- When he’s driving I push my imaginary break constantly and occasionally cross myself even though I’m not religious.
- I wear UGLY shoes on purpose. Yup, I do and I LOVE them, but my husband hates them. Now when I say ugly, I mean they are ugly to him, but extraordinarily wonderful to me. They are the kind of shoes that only women like, but are total man-repellers.
- I don’t know why, but the second he gets on the phone I find that I have something incredibly important to tell him and it can’t wait, or I interject into his conversation with whomever he’s talking to. I know it’s annoying, but it’s like this force that is greater than me makes me do it.
- Why is it that his last bite of food looks so appetizing to me? I didn’t want any ice cream, but when he gets to that last spoonful all of a sudden I have to have some.
- When he’s all warm and snuggled up in bed and I’m cold, I press myself right up against him to soak up all his warmth and slide my hands inside his shirt while he screeches that my hands are freezing. I know they are freezing. That’s why I’m using him to warm them!
- He kisses me goodnight every night because I HAVE to have a good night kiss, but I pretend that he hasn’t so that he’ll do it again. He thinks I have no kiss memory, but really, I’m a kiss thief and proud of it.
Am I the only wife that does these annoying things? Or am I the only one admitting to them? Do you do anything on purpose to annoy your spouse?
Image via lucorreia/Flickr