I don’t know any mamá worth the title that doesn’t all too often want to give herself a chancletazo for her supposed failings as a parent. We’re hard on ourselves and that’s a good thing, I guess, because it means we care, but it’s also a bad thing because do we really need so much unnecessary guilt? I say, NO! So my gift to you if you are a mother is this list of things that you NEVER EVER have to feel guilty about. Read ‘em and then let go of that particular guilt forevermore, okay?
1. Mothering your own way. You know what? It is perfectly okay to do motherhood YOUR WAY and not your mother’s way and not fulano de tal’s way. This is your child and you get to choose what kind of mother you want to be. Let love lead and chart your own course.
2. Breaking with tradition. Tradition and culture are great, except for when you want to break apart from them and guess what? You are totally allowed to. For example, if you are Latina and don’t want to pierce your baby girl’s ears even though everyone in your familia says you just have to, then DON’T. Or maybe you do want to pierce your baby girl’s ears and all your non-Latino friends are giving you grief about it, let them keep their grief. It’s your call to make.
3. Being imperfect. There is no such thing as a perfect mother, never was and never will be. The good thing is that children don’t need perfection, they need you. Give yourself a break when you make a mistake, reflect on it and then vow to do better next time.
4. Not cooking. Oh my Pinterest! It’s like everyone and their abuela is supposed to be cooking up the most pin-worthy meals every single day. Well, you don’t have to cook to feed your child nutritious food. You can buy it premade or take some shortcuts. Whatever. As long as you are feeding your child, you’re good. If you WANT to cook then by all means do, but if it’s not your thing or you just don’t have the time. It’s okay, a meal is a meal is a meal.
5. Not spending enough time with your child. As long as you are not purposefully avoiding your kids to go parrandeando every spare minute you have, then the time you have to spend with your kids is the time you have to do so and there is nothing you can do about it. What you can do is redefine what quality time with your kids means and make every moment you have with them count, by being present, interacting and not letting guilt get in the way of bonding.
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