I’ll tell you what, I’m glad that in my marriage I am me and not my husband because I’m sure sometimes the poor guy feels like he can’t do anything right. Of course, he’s wonderful and does tons of things right, but cuidado when he doesn’t, because hell hath no fury like a wife who’s irritated with her husband.
I suspect that I am not the only esposa in the world who gives her marido a hard time about things he can’t help but get wrong. In an effort to give our significant others a break, let’s go over five things your husband is never going to get right (so don’t give him a hard time):
- If you send him to the store to buy something he’s never bought before, he’s going to come back with the wrong thing. Yup, even if it’s something you guys always have in the house. The only way he’s going to get it right without having to call you a million times is if you give him a picture of said item or send him to the store with an empty container of it.
- He is NEVER ever going to read your mind correctly. I know, you would think he’d be able to, but he can’t, he’s not psychic. Sometimes he can’t even figure out what you’re thinking even when you are telling him exactly what you are thinking. Be patient. It’s not his job to read your mind, you didn’t marry a psychic unless you did and in that case I don’t know what to tell you.
- When you ask him if your butt looks big in jeans, he’s never going to give you the right answer. He’ll either take too long to answer before saying “no”, or he’ll say “no” without even looking, or he’ll give you an enthusiastic “YES” because he likes big butts. Just look in the mirror and decide for yourself.
- He’s never going to clean the way you want him to. Pobrecito, you want him to clean more, but then when he does clean, you get all up in his plato about how that’s not the way it’s done. If he’s cleaning, say thank you and walk out of the room so that you are not tempted to cringe and tell him how to do things.
- Left to his own devices, he’s not going to get you a gift you like. When he asks you what you would like for your birthday or anniversary or any other such occasion, do yourself and him a favor and tell him because if you don’t, he’s going to get you something you don’t want and it will be your fault. If you say to him, “Oh, anything will be perfect; it’s the thought that counts,” when he shows up with a leather tanga and whip, you better not get all indignant and ask, “Is this gift for you or for me?”
Image via dskley/Flickr